We are closing in on truly hitting the road and we are excited. Well, mostly. We have lived in Austin 5 1/2 years and Sonny-Bunny went to the same school from kindergarten into 5th grade. Little Diva has known some of her pals since 3 year-old preschool. They have been blessed with a strong group of friends for which we are thankful. Before Christmas, we threw a going away party wherein many of these friends came to wish us Bon Voyage. The day was very bittersweet. Excitement was tinged with loss.
It was our hope that the whirlwind of holidays leading into a New Year’s pull away would help soothe some of those hurts. But then we didn’t go. Here we are almost six weeks after our target date and we’re still in Austin. This has had a lot of frustration (which I have already shared) but it has also put off the pain of leaving this city we love and the people that make it special. We have been able to schedule occasional playdates along the way. Yesterday, though, we started our real goodbyes.
Sonny-Bunny has two extra special pals. While threesomes often don’t work, these guys are the Musketeers if ever you did see. To see the three, you would giggle. They couldn’t be more different. One is as tall as me and well on his way to being much, much taller. He is blonde and fair. Another is shorter but still taller than my Sonny-Bunny with rich black curls and an athletic build. Then there’s my Sonny-Bunny, a head shorter but refusing to let that stop him. The three run around shooting Nerf guns, still put on dress-up occasionally, and play X-Box as long the three moms will collectively allow. They are as close as 11 year-old boys could be.
Last night, we hosted these boys and their families for a dinner. A second bon voyage, if you will. The dinner was lovely and the boys had a great time, as per usual. Sonny-Bunny was a delight all day and at the get-together. I think, however, the reality of his leaving hit him. For the first time, he didn’t have an exact date of return to plan a rendezvous. And he became unbearable last night. Almost instantly, he was sullen, easily frustrated, and rude.
At first, we were caught off guard. His behavior was completely unacceptable. But when I called him on it, I saw the pain in his eyes, near tears even. He is going to miss these friends a LOT!
Don’t get me wrong, Little Diva has had her moments, too. But in that glimpse, I saw the depth of his loss. OUCH! I know in the long run, this will be a tremendous event in his life. The world awaits in an exciting way but in that instant, he was only feeling the pain.
It will get better, I know but how do I help my kids, especially this sweet boy, deal with this loss? Because it is real, no matter what he gains.
My heart breaks for you as you watch and see the pain he’s feeling and can’t do anything to heal the heartbreak. I think that’s the hardest part of being a parent is seeing our babies hurting and helpless to remedy… all the while masking our own pain and loss. So many hugs go out to you. I will miss you so very much but am thankful for the ability to follow you along on your journey. Never Good-Bye my sweet friend… only Until we meet again
I love you so much. I agree that it is only au devoir not adieu! For them, as well.
<3
Traci